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Blog

This is the web log (blog) I keep to let you know I'm still in existence. Regardless, however, whether or not I exist, you can still buy my book on Amazon.

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June 18, 2017

SIZE OF THE SEA AND MATURITY

True story. When I was 42 and earning my bachelors in English literature (and always mistaken for a professor because of my age), I once noticed a penciled in blurb on a table in the campus library. “Victor has a small dick” is what it said, and so me in all my wizened wisdom penciled underneath, “it’s not the size of the sea; it’s the motion of the ocean.” The next day I found, “it’s not how old you are; it’s how old you act. In the future, please refrain from defacing campus furniture.”

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June 17, 2017

Leading Cause of Disparity Between Persona and Self

The persona is the part of us we present to the public that isn’t quite perfectly representative of how we actually are, and while some people have those WYSIWYG personalities, most of us operate behind a seemingly ever-so refined and sophisticated persona, which is miles away from our bawdier selves.

What causes this disparity? One theory points to the suppressed but pervasive impulse to engage in bathroom humor. Yes, the acknowledgment of a slipped toot, the praise of the timbre of a carefully played burp, and all those other seemingly impolite things that only adolescent boys are free to laugh at have been identified as the leading cause of the ever-growing gap between the persona and the self. Sadly, as this article is being written, no resolution has been sought to narrow the gap; however, I am seriously considering the suggestion that we all engage in occasional emulation of teenage boys to help desensitize our acute discomfort with public farts and belches. This quite possibly could render bathroom humor to be no longer funny. Instead, our canon of social mores would be augmented with the extolling of the effects of bodily functions.

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June 16, 2017

A Telltale Sign You Have a Great Sense of Humor

People ask me about my humor all the time. “Was that a joke?” “You’re kidding, right?”

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June 15, 2017

My Book

Please—I beg of you—please buy my book. It's really really really good. I am confident you will like my book. It's so good. Oh, you've just gotta read it. Hurry! Go to Amazon and buy it. It's titled Contingent Upon Magenta.

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June 14, 2017

Her Mediocrity

Everything she does is mediocre: her prose, her poems, the meals she cooks. Everything about her is mediocre: she has a a mediocre job; she lives in a mediocre home; she has a mediocre education, and she was born into a mediocre family. On the chart of mediocrity, she's not even at the top. No, she's smack-dab in the middle, for she dwells in the heart of mediocrity. Plenty of others are more mediocre than she is. They swarm about her with an outstanding sort of mediocrity. Nevertheless (naturally "nevertheless"), her mediocrity seems to be evolving. Perhaps she is entering hyper-mediocrity (or hypo-mediocrity), which either way is characterized by a certain invisibility. Indeed, she is fast becoming invisible. Very few, next to nobody, can see her, and if it weren't for her lack of distinction, her invisibility would be really something!

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June 13, 2017

My Poetry

I've dreamed many a moment of a place/
Where green curved land cradled a slow river,/
Giant red-barked trees awaited my embrace,/
And yellow meadows called for my slumber/
Where under a bedspread sky I could nap/
Until the moon and stars prepared a stage/
On which bright celestials spanned the gap/
Between an innocent babe and a sage./

Contact

You can look me up on Twitter (@CDrying), or you can send me an email (CDrying@CDrying.me).